But remember that you have an NA or AA sponsor who can answer your questions or provide a fresh perspective if you falter in the process. It’s not enough to acknowledge you have caused harm or hurt someone. Instead, the program challenges you to use your newfound knowledge and skills to right any wrongs. This Step is key when you hope to restore personal relationships as you start your sober new life.

An Example Of Step 8: John Eventually Listed Those He Harmed While Abusing Alcohol And Drugs

It’s critical to remember that amends are more than apologies; they signify understanding, remorse, and a commitment to change. You demonstrate an awareness of your past actions and their consequences and a heartfelt commitment to mitigating these harms. It’s also ineffective to make the vague comment, “I’m sorry if my behavior hurt you.” Ask them to elaborate on their thoughts and feelings about your behavior.

• Before you begin making amends, you need to have completed Step 8, which involves creating a list of people you’ve harmed.
• This may involve apologizing and, when necessary, making restitution to a person, or organization.
• The process of making amends is not merely about saying “I’m sorry.” It involves a comprehensive acknowledgment of past actions, acceptance of responsibility, and a commitment to change.
• Compare trusted options and choose support that strengthens your recovery and helps you move forward with confidence.
• It can help to take your time and act with care while you work this Step.

He earned a Bachelor’s degree at Lincoln University of Pennsylvania while pursuing his CAC-AD. With strong ties to Victory Christian Church and the 12-step community, Federico shares an amazing personal story of redemption and long-term https://best-dates.io/ recovery. Mr. Douglas’ experience, strength, and hope inspires those in our program, and prepares them for the real-world journey of recovery.

Step 9 Aa: Making Amends A Complete Guide

For example, say you stole money from a loved one when you weren’t sober. The goal is to make right what you did wrong financially. Generally, AA participants should aim to make full amends as early as possible.

New Life Blog

It may feel counterintuitive because of all we’ve been taught about “making a mistake” and all of the shame we carry. Still, ultimately, our accountability, empathy, and making things right helps us grow, learn and heal. This makes it very difficult to tolerate the idea that our choices might make someone we care about upset. To find a therapist near you, visit Psychology Today’s Therapist Directory. Consider adding personal touches, like recalling a positive shared memory or mentioning future plans that highlight the importance of the relationship to you.